


A Very Unfortunate Turn of Phrase

by bigficenergy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 06:39:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18162563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigficenergy/pseuds/bigficenergy
Summary: Patrick is willing to let David win an argument, but at the cost of winding him up about something else.





	A Very Unfortunate Turn of Phrase

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to not let things just die in my Google Drive folder like I've done with fics for past fandoms, so here's a small thing I wrote a while back that's just been sitting. I have a couple of other things cooking (including something longer than a one-shot which is unheard of for me) so thanks for reading and stay tuned if you like!

They try not to bring their work home, but the occasional debate over order placements and whatnot will spill over into the ride back to Patrick's apartment. Tonight, the conversation has continued all the way into the apartment.

David is still going on about bringing on a new vendor that Patrick feels wouldn't be cost-effective at the moment. They’re at the point where Patrick already knows he won't win this one, and he'll be okay with that. Still, he's not one to just roll over. They both enjoy the give-and-take of their relationship, and they're getting pretty good at it. So, as David continues to pace and talk in the kitchen, Patrick leans against the counter.

“Hey.”

David stops and Patrick catches the hem of his sweater, tugging him over for a kiss. David instinctively wraps his arms around Patrick's neck. Patrick tries not to smile into the kiss and ruin his plan, but he just never gets tired of how David always seems ready to turn himself over to a kiss.

This time, David does pull back a bit sooner than he would've liked.

“Weren't you the one who told me it was cheating to interrupt an argument with a kiss?” he asks.

“We'll test drive a small order of the products. I don't want to argue anymore.” Patrick leans back in and they resume. When he slides his hands up David's back under his sweater, David hums happily.

Patrick takes this opportunity to murmur against David's lips. “Make love to me.”

As Patrick had expected, David pulls away, brow furrowed. For a moment he just looks at him, assessing.

“I'm getting better at reading when you're messing with me,” David says. “So I'm about 87 percent sure that's what’s happening here, but on the off chance you're being serious, I need you to know that I feel that that is a  _ very _ unfortunate turn of phrase.”

Patrick looks up at David with feigned innocence.

“Make love? I think it sounds romantic. Sexy, even.”

David makes a face like he's just caught a little whiff of something foul.

“And yet, the more you say it, the less sexy I feel.”

Patrick really has to reign in his urge to grin now.

“You seemed to be feeling pretty sexy last night when you were...” He leans back up, lips almost brushing David's again. “...making love to me.”

Again, David leans away.

“I am literally begging you not to use that weird, outdated phrase to describe the best sex I've ever had.”

David does this. He drops these touching little confessions into conversations and then tries to go on like it was nothing. He should know by now that Patrick won't let it pass. But one would also think that by now, Patrick would be ready when this happens. He never is.

“That was the best sex you've ever had?”

David hesitates before saying, “I don't know. Maybe.”

“So what was it about that time? Because honestly I was only giving about... 87 percent? I think I could have, and  _ have _ , done better.”

David crosses his arms, looks away, and mumbles something.

“What's that?” asks Patrick.

“In general,” David says. “Sex with you in general has been the best I've had. So please, please, find other words.”

Patrick bites his lip, but there's no containing his smile after that admission.

“I'm sorry, I was messing with you,” he finally admits.

“I know,” David says defensively, but he lets Patrick wraps his arms around his waist.

Patrick waits until David has relaxed in his embrace again to tilt his head coyly, look up at David with what he once overheard Alexis describe as “his big, brown, puppy-dog eyes”, and ask very sweetly, “So are you gonna fuck me or what?”

“Oh my _god_ ,” David says, but even as he’s rolling his eyes, he tugs Patrick quite urgently toward the bed.


End file.
